Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Anatomy Scan Tomorrow

The day is finally here, well tomorrow it will be here. 8 AM. Thank goodness I scheduled that early. I'm not really sure how I feel. I feel positive, I feel optimistic...but I can never go on assuming all is well and nothing can happen to me/us. I know that's not the case.

Most people know my anatomy scan is tomorrow. Of course the first thing they say is 
Are you going to find out sex?
At least 12 people have asked me that this week. For some I kindly remind them that the point of this scan is to see four chambers in the heart, a closed spine, and a brain all in the right place. But yes we will find out the sex. Others I just say yes and smile, ahhh to be so clueless they think this is a sex scan only. Some even call it that.

Actually I already know the sex, but it was so unexciting because all these other things are more important than the sex.

I did sleep last night and I'm hoping I sleep tonight. I swam this morning so I'm hoping that makes me more tired.

We had some pictures taken, and I'm about to die to share them with my friends...but I want to surprise you all tomorrow. Here is a sneak of one of them!

Keep the good thoughts, prayers, ju ju, fingers crossed, or whatever you do coming! Thanks :)


Saturday, April 12, 2014

The Anxiety Builds

I woke up Friday morning certain I was no longer pregnant. My boobs felt smaller and less sore and I swear my belly was gone. I felt dumb calling the doctor, what would I say? I just need peace of mind? A friend reminded me that I was in charge of my healthcare and I could call and ask to be seen. I did. I left school for a bit and Will met me there. We heard the heartbeat via Doppler. :)

Will was amazing he said all the right things...it's not a problem, I'll cancel my client and head (30 minutes) across town. It's ok. Even if you are seen in the first five minutes and I don't get there in time, I'll wait for you in the parking lot and hug your neck. Gosh I love this man. Well it took a long time to be seen so he didn't miss anything. Urine was normal and blood pressure.

Anyway here are my ideas about why I am all of a sudden not calm:
Less than a week until the anatomy scan
Started making more plans
-paint colors chosen for nursery and painter booked
-crib bedding samples came in the mail
-plans for a photo shoot
-cute cards to announce the sex, once we know it is healthy so far
-asking others their opinion about leave
-told HR I wouldn't meet until after anatomy scan
-baby/dog gates scheduled to be installed on the stairs, tricky with the banisters...
And the big one, I borrowed a friend's Doppler Wednesday. We couldn't find the HB, so I tried at my house Thursday and then again Friday morning...so that and the anatomy scan approaching= one crazy lady.

Yes I will be returning that Doppler! 
I'm glad I went to the doctor, I've had a very peaceful weekend.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Hiding Out

Just a few more days of hiding out! Side view is getting wide. I think today is the last day on these skinny jeans, I had to pull them up all day.



Update: 16 week blood work was all normal, so that's good! I called today to ask since I hadn't heard. 

Next appt: Thursday, April 17th 8 AM 
This is the big one...anatomy scan at 20 weeks!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

NT Scan

We had a great 12 week ultrasound last week, the baby was moving all over like we've never seen before. The baby is also measuring a week head of schedule so was really measuring 13 weeks. Today I just got the results back from the bloodwork part combined with ultrasound.

I'm going to positive here...but in a whisper voice I am saying :: we've been on the 1 side before, you know as in 1/100,000::

Here are the results, and I am very happy to share them with you :)
This is great news for us...if you don't know, 21 is down syndrome and the other two are much much worse, usually not compatible with life.


Trisomy 21
Trisomy 13 & 18
Ultrasound Only
1/381
1/712
Ultrasound + bloodwork
1/593
1/10,000

12 Weeks measuring 13 
I also wanted to add that the tech was super nice. We have seen her so many times. She let us watch for what seemed like forever. Looking at the spinal cord, and just all over. She showed us the whole umbilical cord and that it was pulsing. I had never seen that before either. It went on so long I was like, oh thank you...like you can stop now. But really it was nice very nice of her, I hope to have her every time we have an u/s.


Monday, February 24, 2014

Fears

Written Jan. 21st

My biggest fear. What if there are problems again? To terminate a second time would be even more life altering and devastating. I would be so ashamed and embarrassed. I know you are thinking stop being negative.

Ga Ga keeps telling me if something goes wrong, you will be okay. It's almost like she knows I don't believe that but she is enforcing me to think that way.

I know I'm strong, I know I can do hard things. I just don't want to ever again do anything hard. I know not likely, ever.  I want ease, bliss, and everything to go smoothly.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Circa 1990s

Do you know when one of your senses reminds you of something from long ago? Whether it be a smell you remember from your grandma's house, or a saying someone from your past use to say?

Well while driving in the car I heard this song. "When I'm with You" by Sheriff. I would have told you, by reading the screen, I don't know the song.

But when it started playing I went right back to where I was circa 1990s. I was at Skater's Choice in Irmo. I was sitting on the circular carpet covered benches just dying for a boy to come ask me to slow skate. I would act like I was talking to a friend, just hoping he'd come closer and ask me. Who is "he" no clue...I'm quite sure it was just ANY boy, well a good skater of course. HA. Now you know it was backwards skating for the girls with your hands on his shoulders. I almost get butterflies just writing this...this song was powerful. I'm cracking myself up. Ha. Gosh I wish I had a picture.


Monday, January 20, 2014

Pregnant

Alright I'm going with this saying...
The Fourth Time is the Charm!

Friday, Dec 27th BFP. Started progesterone immediately. 
Bloodwork done that same day and the following Sunday. 
HCG Numbers look good. 60 to 181, I'll take it. Progesterone looks good as well, but to continue taking it can't hurt. (Now I have different thoughts, like what if it saves a bad pregnancy?) 

But what happens happens. Can't fix it or do anything about it. Live for today.

I have such different feelings this time. I feel okay. I feel like I am strong enough to handle anything. A small part of me worries about what I will be like if this is another loss. But I don't stress about it as I have in the past. No looking for blood or googling things I shouldn't. I didn't demand an early ultrasound. In the past I have had much earlier appointments, but I'm okay with waiting until 8 weeks. We will be able to see more. 

I am thinking very much into the future--strollers, nursery, moving stuff around...so I hope this ends well and I haven't made more heartache for myself. I have just a few more days until an ultrasound. Will said he will breathe a lot easier when he sees the heartbeat. 

A little backtracking. In November we both had a lot of testing done at the fertility clinic. Everything came out well, we have no foreseeable problems regarding egg, uterus, sperm, chromosomes, or anything that will mess with babymaking. I do feel that this has allowed me to be more calm about this pregnancy.

I am pregnant today and I am happy. 

Christmas Cruise 2013

This past year we escaped. Some friends were sad for us, they thought we'd be missing Christmas and all the hubbub. But truthfully when you had planned to be really pregnant for Christmas and/or with children and then don't have any, that's really the sad part. 

We had a great time. Interior cabin, just the way we like it so it's really dark and you can sleep! We hung out at the Casino Bar...again, played Roulette--lost my money, Will's money, and Mama's money. It was quite fun. They had Santa and it was all decorated for Christmas, they made it "snow" one night it the atrium, there was a Christmas show, tacky sweater contest and all. 

We hardly took any pictures. But these are the ones we did get. 

This particular day I had left Will napping in the room. But we ended up having so much fun (and ordered food that he needed to help us finish) I went and got him. He made it back just in time for me to sing "Baby Got Back"-I'm sure he was proud.



Avril

When I saw Avril Lavigne was coming to Charleston I wanted to go really bad. I love her. I really loved her when lost Stella and the summer following. I love her so much I asked Will if we could name our next child after her. He quickly said no.

My friend Ashley surprised me with tickets that someone was selling last minute on FB. Our seats were amazing. Here are some very blurry pictures. She played with some youngin' named Jessie that everyone 15 and under were screaming for, The Fray, and Daughtry. I was afraid I might cry the whole time she sang, but it was good. I just sang them louder!

So now that I've seen her I want to return to another concert featuring just her. She was so fun and full I mean FULL of energy. If she's coming to your town...tell me!

She just makes me smile.







Thursday, December 19, 2013

Why I Do What I Do

Notes like this, is why I bust ass like I do :)

I’m glad the gift will be helpful.  It is our pleasure and the least we can do for all you have done for XXX.  She would never have made this kind of progress without you.  You have made and are making a real and positive life-long difference for her.  We are all so grateful to you.  One day when XXX is asked by someone to name a teacher who made the biggest impact in her life, she will without hesitation say, Ms. XXX.